He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
