If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
