As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
