3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
