I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
