How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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