South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You were trust falling into bushes
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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