We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
