my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
