How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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