come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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