There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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