there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
