I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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