I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize