Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
