whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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