I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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