You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
