Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
