Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
she smelled like a LAN party
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
