it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
