I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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