i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
