You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
As shirtless as possible
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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