OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
