what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
ok first of all what the fuck
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
