What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
