Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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