Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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