think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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