she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize