Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
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