he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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