he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
