I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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