His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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