uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
These tits shall not be calmed
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
