New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Randomize
