Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
