Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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