so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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