Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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