you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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