that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
