I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
