thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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