Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
