just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
