He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
