In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
