Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
