I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
