I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
How naked do you want me to be?
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