If i come over, it means nothing
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
