I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
