I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
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