Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
